Kayti was busted smoking pot a few weeks ago. After a knock-down dragout argument, she is back home and doing well. She knows that if this happens again, she will not be going to Bama. I don't even have the energy right now to type out everything that went on for those weeks. Suffice it to say, this is her last chance.
Jeff and I had been spending a lot of time together lately. We went to the beach with the kids, birthdays, cookouts, etc. I also have Amos pursuing me. But I didn't want to go further with that until I knew whether or not Jeff and I have a chance. I tried to talk to him yesterday but he was adamant that that door is closed forever. My heart broke all over again. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I can do. I'm not even sure if it's him I love or if I'm just nostalgic because he's been such a fixture in my life for so long. I get physically ill whenever I think of him with anyone else. But I'm not sure that means what it should either. I get very dark thoughts when I think of how he plays me and uses my emotions against me. He purposely told me he'd seen me on pof just so I would know that he's lurking and thinking of getting back on. He said that he knew I would give him a hard time for dating again so he needed me to know that he knew I was. Except I'm not. I only got on it for boredom. I've hidden my profile a million times. I really don't have an interest in trying to build a relationship with anyone new.
I really don't know what I will do if and when I find out he's seeing someone else. I may end up on an episode of Snapped!
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